Dear Family, I wish I was an orphan.

Dear Family,

                      I regret today to call you family for you have done nothing for me but cause pain. Because of you I suffer from depression, along with some other factors, but you the main cause. As I look back upon time I wish to recall some good things about you but all I remember is the argument you always had, the hatred behind them. They continue even to today and I am still helpless.  You know how much I wish that it could stop. That we can be like any other family, get along with each other, more importantly love each other. Instead there is  hatred, deceptiveness, back stabbers. How can I explain them. They say a family will affect who you are when you grow up and how I wish they are wrong.  But I see the proof everyday. It is there in my identity. Because of you I am not confident, because of you I run to the first person that shows me a different life. Because of you I go to bed every night wishing I would never wake again, never have to endure another day of this life with you. Family , I want nothing more than to love you but you  make it so hard for me. Do you know what it is to feel trapped, being force to take sides of the people you love the most. Nothing tears me apart like that does. I am very sorry but I cannot endure this anymore. It hurts to see my mom tears fall because of how my grandmother treats her. Like she is not worth anything. It hurts me to see my dad not for once sees that my grandmother is wrong.  It hurts to know that my grandmother makes my mother look like an evil person to her sons, daughter, daughter-in-laws, son-in-laws and see them all hate my mother. I love my grandmother more than anything In the world but she isn't what I thought she was. For once in my life I see the injustice and I feel so guilty that I can't do anything about it. How I love them all, but they make it so hard for me. How I wish they would stop this. But what can I do, I am nothing but a mere child …

                                                                                                 Yours,

                                                                                                            Girl who loves you all.

To the Xangans... to me you are a hero.

To the people on xanga. Maybe you aren't an well known person to the world But to me you are much of a hero as anyone else. The things one community can do for us. You all write, you add friends, you support them. It shows that we humans are not all bad. You support each other in bad times, pick up for one another in an arguments. You guys show the true meaning of people. You show the good side of human nature and to me its really the best thing I've seen in a while. I may not meet any of you but in some way you have taught me so much and you do not know how grateful I am to you all.

Once upon a time, if anyone said the slightest negative thing about me I would feel extremely bad. But you know what. I would say I didn't deserve it. I don't though, maybe, but just pouting about it shows that I am very childish. There will always be people like that and the best thing I have learnt from you people on here is that it doesn't really matter. Yes we have feelings, our heart isn't made out of stone and of course we shall feel bad. But that doesn't mean we are to give up all that we have built because of one mean thing someone says. I was like that, maybe I still am but I have realized something. Negativity doesn't always have to affect you like that. You can use negativity to make your self a better person. Maybe even work harder to show that person they can't bring you down. So maybe when someone says something mean to me I do not have to go away and sulk and feel bad for the rest of my life. Maybe I should thank them sometimes, because it doesn't matter once you believe in yourself and you know that people support you.

She aborts her fetus, places it in a bin and go on with her life.

Maybe I don't know a lot about pregnancy, about what it is like to be a teenage mother, or the things you have to go through but I do know some things about it. Let me put myself in a situation where I am in high school and I find out I am pregnant. Now I know that this isn't going to work. I will be scared and most of all I would never want anyone to find out. But the person in me knows that this is wrong. My conscience knows that I cannot hide this, that I will come out one day. So what are the choices that I am left with? Abortion right? It seems like the easiest way out. Actually it is the easiest way out of this. But knowing that there is a child in me, my own flesh and blood, don't you think that I will at least have a bit of feelings for that fetus even though I don't want it? Answer me people? Would you have any feeling for it? Well not for this thirteen year old. Here's a story that really shocked me today.  A thirteen year old girl who was pregnant went into her school bathroom and delivered her fetus. Then she gathered it and just put it in the bin and returned to her class as if nothing had happen. People became worried when she kept holding her tummy and moaning from the pain, where they then carried her to the hospital. She could have died if she didn't have medical assistance. This really made me sick. I don't know if anyone else feels this way but I think it is really cruel.

We all have someone that completes us.

There is always that someone that complements you. The other half of you, the person that knows you better than you may know yourself. Some people find that person. It doesn't always have to be  a spouse. Some people find that person in a family, friend, or even a total stranger.

Not everyone always find such a person but I believe that we all do get a chance to find that person. We really do. Sometimes we just pass that chance up .Never  judge someone by their appearance, or by how bold or shy they are. If you meet someone take the chance to know them. You may say you are wasting your time but you never know. That may be the person that completes you.

I have meet so many people that have had a profound effect on me. They may not say a lot, or some say too much but thanks to them I have learnt something new about myself and also altered myself in some way. Before I met ex best friend I must say I didn't have a lot of confidence in myself.  I was very shy.  She may not be my best friend now, we grew apart actually, but she has taught me so much about myself. She was very flirty, outgoing and somehow she helped me gain my confidence.

Anyways as I was saying, the person that completes you doesn't magically appear. You must search for that person. They may not come in a shiny package but they are worth it. So take a chance and try to have interest in anyone you meet. They may just be that person.

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